Letters to No One

So I feel like I am being a complete b w/ an itch when I say the following, but really it’s one of those days and frankly venting never hurt anyone (who didn’t read my thoughts) so here we go.

Dear Co-Worker,

I do not need for you to tell me time and time again what you are doing every second of the day. If I wanted to know I would def. ask and to be honest as long as you are getting your work finished so I don’t have to clean up your mess then kudos to you.

PS: can you clean up your office because you were off yesterday and I could not find a darn thing and I am pretty sure there are dust balls flying through the air as we speak…no wonder I keep sneezing.

Dear annoying neighbor,

Really?!?!? Like you have to slam your front door every time you go in and out of your apartment so much that my dog barks…don’t you ever wonder why right after you slam your door at 2 am…my dog randomly barks? I am pretty sure he doesn’t suffer from some rare barking disorder.

Oh and PS: I work.

Dear Lady Gaga,

I am so confused by your new song…I checked my radio like 10x since it aired and I still can’t believe it is you. I am still trying to figure you out…MTV awards had me perplexed and now this. You def. keep me on my feet.

PS: you look better as a women…just saying.

Dear Facebook Status Queen,

I am sure you are a beyond wonderful person and a great mother to your 5 adopted children, but I really do not need to know what you have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every dayt. It is clear that you switched to strictly organic food and that is absolutely amazing, but when you tell the world you had organic banana pancakes, organic syrup, organic butter with a glass of soy milk and all this was eaten on your new recycled dinner ware you just purchased from a strictly organic store in Organicville, PA…it gets just a little annoying.

PS: your children are a-dorable.

Dear guy in front of me everyday,

We apparently leave at the exact same time 4 out of 5 days. I swear you completely groom and eat breakfast on your way to work because driving behind you is not the best time ever. You swerve everywhere and the speed limit is 55 not 25 so please fix yourself at home and leave like 5 minutes later because I bet you 10 dollars that if you did your hair at your house and left 5 minutes later you would actually make it to work at the same time because you might actually drive like a normal human being.  K thanks bye!

I just adore people some days….at least they give me a reason to laugh or cry…lol!

XOXO